4.19.2010
it hurts to wait for someone. not knowing how long you have to wait. But in my case, things are a bit different. and not what i have expected. He is back. But things are not the same. totally different. I missed all his 'baby !' and now finally i get nothing. (well. guess i have to be happy that he asked how was my exam)
This silly guy. Irritating yet idiotic and i don;t know what else. But what to do? I love him. Of cause things on his side id different.
I asked him. feelings from the past and now. got diff? he answered, no.
i asked again. have you ever thought of being together with me? he answered yes.
I asked again. when did you think of that? (expecting the ans to be no or idk) he answered, everytime.
I asked. why? He answered, i really don't know how to answer.
On the other hand, He claims he had no one he likes and all. What should i think then?
It's been so long since i want to understand guys. i realised i still can't?
What to do without him?! I gave in a lot. But well, atleast i know that he is different from other guys. The sweet memories and all those sms. I can't forget! i can even read his sms out w/o even have to look! See? Yzanne's going crazy!
But i do understand that it's not easy for 2 people to get together and stay as one.
I did think of having a future with him. But going tru all these again and again. I feel him no more. I don't know what he feels now. It hurts to be trying all means to get him out the brain but just can't! Totally changed for him.
All i can do now. is using stupid ways to let him know he means soooo soooo much to me. including this cold blog. which i doubt anyone reads it now -.-
well i know he won't. so i write here xD
The issue now, i teared in front of him cause i was reminded of the past with me and him. But he didn't know. He didn;t know and won't know how hard it is to just treat it as nothing ever happened.
Yzanne don't deserve such a guy. Anyone who get the chance to be beside him. Going tru ups n downs together with him. Please, do cherish him. This follish guy had gone tru quite alot. He deserved to be well treated.
Yzanne is going to around quietly ( I HOPE! zz). hoping to see him happy one day. Even if that person is not me. I know i know, darn painful. But what to do? :)
什么都不要懂只想继续做梦害怕醒来以后握不住你的手是谁太不成熟没体谅彼此感受我不停寻找着理由解释分手心好空像没温度的气球我的灵魂困在回忆中动也不能动爱上你不需要理由你到底懂不懂可是怀念竟比失去还要更难受噢爱让我想起你的时候泪禁不住滑落可惜你永远都不会懂什么都不要懂只想继续做梦害怕醒来以后握不住你的手如果同一秒钟你也想起了我心只要能微微颤抖就已足够爱上你不需要理由你到底懂不懂可是怀念竟比失去还要更难受噢爱让我想起你的时候泪禁不住滑落或许我永远都看不透爱上你不需要理由你到底懂不懂伤心快乐在回忆中反复的交错噢爱让我想起你的时候泪禁不住滑落可惜你永远都不会懂放心我还会好好的过---------------------------------------------
他的轻狂留在某一节车厢地下铁里的风比回忆还重整座城市一直等着我有一段感情还在漂泊对他唯一遗憾是分手那天我奔腾的眼泪都停不下来若那一刻重来我不哭让他知道我可以很好我爱他轰轰烈烈最疯狂我的梦狠狠碎过却不会忘曾为他相信明天就是未来情节有多坏都不肯醒来我爱他跌跌撞撞到绝望我的心深深伤过却不会忘我和他不再属于这个地方最初的天堂最终的荒唐如果还有遗憾又怎么样呢伤了痛了懂了就能好了吗曾经依靠彼此的肩膀如今各自在人海流浪我爱他轰轰烈烈最疯狂我的梦狠狠碎过却不会忘逃不开爱越深越互相伤害越深的依赖越多的空白该怎么去爱我爱他轰轰烈烈最疯狂我的梦狠狠碎过却不会忘曾为他相信明天就是未来情节有多坏都不肯醒来我爱他跌跌撞撞到绝望我的心深深伤过却不会忘我和他不再属于这个地方最初的天堂最终的荒唐如果还有遗憾是分手那天我奔腾的眼泪都停不下来若那一刻重来我不哭让他知道我可以很好-------------------------------
最后一抹的微笑在转身之后我闭上眼哭了仅存的一点点骄傲华丽的外表终於丢掉很旁徨很孤单是寂寞或悲惨一个人该怎么办像是刺猬般防范伪装得勇敢不轻易让你看穿我以为可以很坦然面对分开时不觉得伤感然而将灯关上一片无声黑暗心痛得大声呼喊我想我没那么坚强每个女孩其实一样渴望着爱情的好渴望被拥抱却都害怕爱让人受伤承认我没那么坚强不过是一而再的逞强小心将情绪收藏比傻瓜还傻刺猬的坚强全都是假象..哭吧刺猬的坚强全都是假象-----------------------------------
有时候太坚强笑容却填不满眼眶
越是想要隐藏歌声就唱的更响亮
直到入到心底最深处 oh~
你不要追问我还缺了些什麽
每个人都有梦幸福总站在最远方
心中越是渴望越是不敢伸手拥抱
谁的心是我最后一站 oh~
我强问我自己现在还没有个答案
我不是你想像那麽勇敢
多想让你保护能流泪一场
让我放下武装像个孩子一样
单纯的把爱情放在你心上
每个人都有梦幸福总站在最远方
心中越是渴望越是不敢伸手拥抱
谁的心是我最后一站 oh~
我强问我自己现在还没有个答案
我不是你想像总是扮演坚强
多想让你知道我也要个伴
放下讨厌武装像个孩子一样
单纯的把爱情放在你心上
我不是你想像的那麽勇敢
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那条路走啊走啊走啊总要回家两只手握着晃啊晃啊舍不得放你不知道吧后来后来我都在想跟你走吧管它去哪呀这杯咖啡忘了加糖真不是我那麽伤感世界太复杂你说单纯很难我当然都明白可是啊只有你曾陪我在最初的地方只有你才能了解我要的梦从来不大我们没有在一起至少还像情侣一样我痛的疯的伤的在你面前哭得最惨我知道你也不能带我回到那个地方你说你现在很好而且喜欢回忆很长我们没有在一起至少还像家人一样总是远远关心远远分享----------------------------------------------
Listening to all these. I don't know when will I ever learn to let you go to a better place you truely belong. Baby i love you.
-watashi wa anata wo aishite imas-
-Please, Love me, If you can-
Labels: baby. please.
1:43 AM
