Everything is feeling different! My "darling" totally went missing. Give it all back to me!! Those SMS feels so so so so cold. Can't help thinking that you're even further now. What can I do? What else can I do? :(
I crossed out the name that I left on my body. I wished it would bleed even longer.
I couldn't sleep well yesterday. Even if I did fall asleep somehow, I dreamt of you. It was something nice in the front. But something bad happened. I teared while sleeping. Just don't leave me like this.
Tarots advised me to give you some freedom and space. I should had read my tarots before I talked to you on phone. Too late. :(
Friend said I'm just thinking too much. Being too sensitive about your everything. I cared too much about you you and you. I Totally forgot about myself.
Reflect the whole night. Summary is, I don't understand what I'm doing anymore.
OKOK!
You just called me darling. telling me you're going out now. Well it is your birthday today. Hope you have fun.
Guess I'll be holding my phone wherever I go, Making sure I don't leave out any of your SMSes.
I hate myself so much. Emo myself jiu hao. Why did I bother you. :( Suddenly too afraid that whatever I'm have now is going to change tomorrow morning. I knew your answer would be a NO. I still asked. Hoping there might be a surprise. Hoping I would atleast know the reason why NOT.
And now I finally know it. You don't believe anyone would love you this much. But what am I doing?!!
It's okay if I get together with someone else? It's okay if I get hurt badly by other guys and all doesn't concern you? It's okay for you to let me go? It's okay for you and nothing concerns you? No pain no itch? Serious?
He replied YES to all these.
But he was crying.
This is not what I want !! Selfish me. What can I do now?! Anything!!
Someone asked me to talk to him in person. How can I possibly do that?
It's raining now. He must be sleeping soundly (Well, I hope).
Which idiot will blog and cry at the same time? haha. I miss him badly.
I swear I won't let go of him so easily. Unless... Everything changed from tomorrow onwards..
God, Please, No.
"Never say die" is what he said to me last time.
Baby tell me what to do!! What else to do !!
- peng you dou quan wo bu yao bu yao bu yao na zhi ji de xin fu kai wan xiao dan shi zuo ren yi jing na me lei jia xing xing de xiang yao tao zai ai li lian zhen xin dou bu neng gei zhe cai zhen de zhen zhen de ke xiao
ai de tai zhen tai rong yi rang zhi ji si shen tai rong yi rang zhi ji chen luen tai rong yi bu gu yi qie man shi shang hen
wo tai ben ming zhi dao ni shi cuo de ren ming zhi dao zhe bu shi yuan fen dan wo hao shi fen bu gu shen
dan wo xiang xin you dian ke neng ke neng zai ai li mian zhe yang suan ben ke neng yong yuan mei you shuo wei yong hen dan shi wo bu yuan fang qi zhe li mian yi dian dian ke neng ning yuan ben ye bu xiang yao hui hen-
(Cuo de ren)
this song is in my mixpod list, I think. I like it alot.
Went vivo with Serene and her son together with gerger. Went candy empire. Believe me, I really wanted to buy the whole shop! Haha. Saw Vanessa there, got 20% discount!! huhu~ Thx girl! I got this erm, Honey comb chocs and mint chocs. arhh! fav! After that we went to have ramen for dinner. Its nice but a bit too salty.
THEN !!
I went Marina barrage with gerger!! Go there LOH-MAN-TIC. lol. Fly kite. :3 But well, I hold it high, run here run there. When it finally flew a bit, i let go. ARGH ! I didn't even know i shouldn't let go so quickly. I had never played such thing before!! 20 yrs of life, That was my 1st. haha. ok luhh, it flew for about, erm, 2meters? 2 meters is because i stretch my hand and yeahh.. >
THEN !!!
We got nothing much to do as we gave up on the idea of flying the kite, so we decided to stalk HIM*. I had never did such a thing. To do to the place he is at, and just, yeah! do nothing. Got cig and smoked. Passed him the honey comb chocs and chatted for AWHILE. Then when we were going off, I shouted "bye bee!". But no response T-T It would have felt much more happier for me if he were to just wave or something!! But well, never mind. Since I'm already all shy here and there. Feeling butterflies flying higher then my kite.. I tell you, I FEEL LIKE SHYTING! :x Tai jing zhang liao xD
I tell you, Boon Lay Shopping Centre? OMFG. I went there and was looking at it and was like, WOAHHHHHHHH!! Try it people! >
THEN !!!!
Went to find gerger de biao jie. since we at jurong area. Talked and went to mac. So erm, JURONG SO MANY RUNNING CHOCOLATES!! BTH BTH !! okok~ then we went home. And of cause text HIM*. otw to gerger de car he told he he wanted to kiss me goodbye. OMG ! if he does that im gonna faint for sure !
Lets see if he'll ask the question he asked me again bah (:
I'm gonna get ready and meet gerger liao ~ heehee~ I DIE OSO WANNA MAKE THE KITE FLY HIGH HIGH!!
Suceed then consider bring him* go next time xD Don;t wanna show him how monkey i am~ lalala~
Baby, Finally I realised. You're fine without me. Memory.
I fell for an idiot. He don't know how much he meant to me. He is like, 2 years younger than me. Not the kinda guy I would normally notice. But well, what to do? Celebrated his 18th birthday. I did enjoy everything. But his kisses was so cold. I can't help giving them my thoughts. Finally asked him about it. Looks like my intuition was right. His love towards me isn't THAT strong. (OUCH!)
After the 'baby' guy. This is a guy i did wanted to devote myself to. Too hurt, too scared. Don't dare to admit how i felt when we just got together. We broke up very shortly after that. Still remain as online couple somehow. Its a bit uneasy. Quarrels and all continued. I don't understand myself, why am I getting so worked over stupid little stuffs. But when I went to his FB, saw how he missed his ex, OUCH! ENOUGH! ==! 'hen qi guai ba'?
All my friends say no. But for all who knows me, I rather do everything i can, get all hurt and painful. Than to regret even the slightest bit in the future. I don;t know what else is there for me to do.
Remembering how u hugged me and told me u love me, heart melts but it hurts somehow. knowing that i don't mean as much to you as u meant to me. I swear this is the last time, I'm gonna chase after you. No matter the pain or whatever it takes. Till one day, when i finally get you, or get OVER you. It's yr call.
I never forget how painful it took in the past. I will prepare myself for how it will hurt this time. Yes, he isn't worth it, like all of you said. what to do?
I want to be in his skinny arms. Stupid comments and laughters. Random words and wishes. Though his stupid laughter nv once failed to make me smile just a bit. Cake cake~ :)
I'm never gonna forget whatever he promised me. But ermm, the part about finding someone to be with him, FORGET ABOUT IT PLS!
Haha. Fell for a childish kid. Someone so stupid, He don't even know how he manage to make me smile himself.
