4.14.2010

My nightmare is going to continue very very soon. Insomnia every now and then. I'm suppose to be strong. Like everyone expect me to. But just, i don't know how this time. Everything changed. Thou i see you. But i don't feel you.

I did a very bad thing to you didn't I? I made you say those stuffs to my gerger. Not letting you know that i was there. I know it all along. I didn't know the exact words and tone. But was kinda angry about some facts you stated. By reading those, it's just something.. a very small part that i do for you. I know that it's not 'wei da' at all for that. But i just hoped, like everyone else said, you'll get a rough idea of how I'm pulling myself through each sleepless nights without you.

Some kuku people joked about the 'countdown' I stated every morning before i sleep. I didn't know how i managed to do so too.

I mistook you too. Your attitute towards me were so so different as compared to what you were like in the past. I don;t like that. :(

I know that there will always be people around you. And can see that you didn't need me too. But i just can't help it. I thought that you were like others, so easily changed. Too fast that i don't even have the time to adapt.

I know i can't force things. Can't make decisions and all for you. I didn't.

Like i said. You're worth it.

People so get stuck in the past. And some are even scared of it. Not willing to face it. Don't you know that I'm different? I always thought that you'll know. I always believed that you're clever enough to know all these. All the crap that I've told you, wrote to you, and all the stupid things in my fb.

I don't know what has gotten into me, that I seriously have the guts to cry and tell you stuffs through the phone.

I believed in what you said this time, though i know most prob, you wanted me to not worry so much. But i'll be stupidly waiting for your text. again.

I mean... i think that's nearly all the things i could do now. To wait in silence.

And I know that you'll make things better for yourself.

:( do me a favour, don't take him away..

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