Had been working together with baby. (: Although he keeps keeping my iphone entertained instead of me. But well, (OF COX IM ANGRY!) had to get on with it :x Don't want to argue or what so ever with him. Sometimes get more money. Sometimes SOOOO little I feel like crying. Fortunately we're more or less spending more time together. Sometimes he's so sweet. Sometimes he's so cold.
He met his ex on the way home today after our movie. He went all emo and I didn't know what to say, or do. All i did was worry here and there. There are loads of questions I want to ask. But I don;t want to get the answers I don't like.
I didn't realised how scared I am to lose him. There's alot of "what-if".. But I'm too chicken to know the answer. Like he said before.. Some things better not to know. So well, I am trying my very best! He's trying to distract himself I guess. I hope everything will be fine tomorrow. It's suffocating.. but atlleast he tells me and not keep it from me.
I'm working hard. To make him smile. Keep him entertained. Do everything he feels or want to do(well, try). Spend everytime I can with him. Letting him do what he wants. Letting him do what he likes. All these seems easy. But believe me, it is hard for me. So hard that i feel so tired everytime. No, it's not that kind of tiredness which makes you let everything go. It's something I need a break from. Something I want to do nothing but stare at it and see if anything moves by its own.
Hard to even understand me? Believe me, I don't know what I'm thinking as well. well... I just need a break..
